Dr Janette's Blog

Tears of Joy and Sorrow; Need the Strength of Faith.

2009-08-30T14:06:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I had the opportunity to sit for a moment and write. My life, and those around me, have been full of life altering events; some beautiful and some quite the opposite. The events have caused quite a few tears, both of joy and sorrow.

Some of people think tears are only for women, but I have found that is far from the truth. Throughout my years of working with men during various types of emergencies, I have found that they cry too. It is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength when a man can allow himself to feel and care for another. Any loss in a relationship, whether it is a spouse, parent, child, friend or stranger is painful and allowing the pain to emerge is healthy and needed. Without this release we would self-destruct from the inside out inflicting our pain on others, who really care for us. God gave us tears so we could heal our souls in times of sorrow and pain.

I have learned throughout my painful experiences; no matter how much we try, we are not in control; and for those who believe (like me) the Lord will make it okay. Faith, hope, & love; and a few dear friends will get you through the darkest of times.

Lifelong Dreams vs. Reality

2009-04-22T13:53:00.000-07:00

Most of us discover life doesn't always go as we planned or dreamed it would. In fact, it almost rarely travels the path or vision we see for ourselves or our family members. These diversions can (and usually do) cause havoc within our family system. We find ourselves facing challenges, that bring depression and/or anxiety into our lives, while we come to terms with the unexpected changes. No one is exempt from this trial in life, but how we handle it will contribute to how much or how long depression or anxiety will interfere with our daily activities. Being flexible and less rigid in our expectations can make a huge difference in the success of "moving through" these obstacles.

The road in life is full of bends, curves, detours, and super highways. We can end up so far off course we sometimes wonder, "how in the heck did we end up here"? Often we take time to reflect on the vision we once had, but we fail to accept the depth of it's loss. Yes everyone, it is a loss and sometimes quite a substantial one. When there is a loss of a dream, plan, or vision for ourselves there is grief. It is so important to take time and honor your grief.

Time will usually allow the good and positive to emerge if we have taken the time to honor our grief. Emerge from the challenges you have endured by holding your head high, taking a deep breath, and begin searching for what is good and positive in your new direction.

Life can be than more than our original dream and reality can be beautiful if we allow ourselves to move through the obstacles with flexiblity knowing someone is watching over us. Amen!

Time Flys

2009-03-21T23:15:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I started this venture and so much has changed. During the past several months my world has been rocked by life. Unpredictable, chaotic, and downright unbearable at times, but through it all life goes on. My philosophy is to pick up whatever pieces I can find and put it back together; discovering it's not the same and will never be the same again.
I try to make sense of it all, but sometimes it just doesn't. When I emerge from the fog I've been wondering around in, I again realize time really does fly.

Where Do I Go From Here...Choices

2008-10-21T23:41:00.000-07:00

After months of delays and endless nights; wondering through the constantly changing venue of computers, I gained the courage to launch my website and blog. I'm sure somewhere out there I have left a trail of worn out people shaking their heads in disbelief. But for unknown reasons, I persevered in my desire to move into the techno realm. So as I say in the flying world, please fasten your seat belts as the ride might get a little bumpy for the next few miles.

Last month I had no idea what a blog was. I had heard the term before, but really hadn't the time to explore it further. Somewhere along the design phase of my website I began to see a need for this thing called a "blog". Thanks to a close friend (my computer guru) I sat down adding the blog to the website tonight; that's where the next dilemma came from. What to say? I realized I had so many directions to go in, it became overwhelming! The more I thought, the worse it became. Finally, I had to think back to what I would offer my clients who were facing the same challenges. My advice to them is as follows:

Narrow down the challenges to the top three.

Prioritize them. (If stuck on how to prioritize, look at each challenge individually and list the positives and negatives of each challenge).

Take the one you know you can accomplish the easiest and do it.

Barge ahead or chip away at the one task until it is completely done. If you find an obstacle,(and most likely you will) look at all the options and make a choice.

I find all too many times people stop at this phase of completing the challenge at hand. They encounter the paradox of choosing the "right way". They are not sure it's the "right way" so they decide "no choice" is better than making a "wrong" choice. How paralyzing is this? Make a choice people, step up to the plate and hit away! You may strike out or you may just get lucky and hit the home run, but you will never know unless you "risk" taking that step.

For many years I trained deputy sheriff's and airline pilot's trainees, and they too had to learn make a choice. Take a direction, any direction, and if it was "wrong" well then "fix it" with another choice; a change in direction. Eventually they would get to where they desired. This took a mindset of taking a risk, but I would reassure them they could do it. They were told "it may be scenic, time consuming, and sometimes a big learning curve, but in the end when you have completed the challenge, you will find satisfaction in your own accomplishments".

So in the end, I have taken another risk, a blog? Yes! The right way? Time will tell.